WEDDING INVITATON DELIMA WITH IN-LAWS?
my fiance and i have made a mockup of what we want our invite to look like. his mother recommended her sister in law to do the invites since she does scrapbooking and is doing his sister’s invites for her wedding as well. HOWEVER his aunt wants to do our invites as our wedding present and is doing the same for his sister. now im portuguese and in my culture my parents are the ones who pay for a good portion of the wedding including inivites and i want to pay for the materials for the inivites but his aunt told me on the phone that no she wanted them as our wedding present!
invitations to me is not a wedding gift im not going to use my invite again and im not going to frame it so what would i do with that gift.. im giving to other people, including her and her husband! i told her on the phone that i didn’t want to do that but my fiance looked at me and said come on, so i walked out of the room and we made an appointment to pick out materials..
now the more and more i think about it i get more angry at myself for not standing up!
What do I do? Do i let her make my invitations as my wedding gift and have her freeload at the wedding, or do i tell my fiance i don’t like it and have him get angry at me as well as his mother and go somewhere else for invitations and have his aunt give us money for our wedding?
PLEASE HELP!!
not to be rude but i think your alittle bit of a bridezilla. i know when you first start planning everything has to be perfect trust me ive been through it! but eventually you wont give a crap so dont sweat the small stuff! good luck
December 10th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
The present part would be the fact that she is saving you a ton of money that you would have had to spend on the invites. I would definitley let her do the invites its a very sweet present if you ask me. Oh and she would not be freeloading at your wedding the invites she will make cost more than any gift you would receive from other people.
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December 10th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Marriage should be based upon mutual love and respect. In that, you should be honest with your intended. If you talk with each other with love and with respect, then you should be able to come to a mutual agreement. Remember that may take some time. A decision does not have to be made immediately. No matter what, do not get angry or act in anger. All action should be done with a motivation of love and genuine respect for one another.
The last thing to consider is that you are starting a new and independent family. You and your spouse are to be independent from your parents and others. You are not accountable to your parents or his. You are accountable to each other.
Good luck and have a happy future!
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December 10th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
stop being a baby
she is actually doing you (your parents)
a huge favor!
be gratefull
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December 10th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Yes, I think you should let her make the invitations. You can’t really pick and choose what gift someone gives you. Although you could voice your dislike of the idea, I don’t really see what good could come of that. You would only hurt her feelings and by the sounds of it, many others as well. She probably really wants to do something very special for you and your husband-to-be and yes, it saves money. Maybe you are not seeing the savings yourself if your parents are paying so maybe doesn’t seem like a gift to you but isn’t it supposed to be the thought that counts anyway? Even if you deny her making the invites, you still can’t dictate that she give you money for your wedding. And, as for freeloading at the wedding, the day is supposed to be about the joining of two souls as one and wanting to share that joy with your family and friends, it is not a money grab. If you are not inviting people because you want them there to share your special day, you shouldn’t be inviting them. Don’t get so caught up in the “wedding” that you forget what the day and occasion are really all about.
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December 10th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
not to be rude but i think your alittle bit of a bridezilla. i know when you first start planning everything has to be perfect trust me ive been through it! but eventually you wont give a crap so dont sweat the small stuff! good luck
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December 10th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Well i think it is best to be gracious and accept it as a gift even if it isnt the ideal. I do think you are being a bit silly, i’m not trying to be unkind but it is not only your wedding and it is only an invitation. I think it isn’t worth causing a problem, you can tell her how you would like them and also wouldn’t your parents be grateful to pay a little less for one thing because then they can put the money towards other aspects and give you your erfect wedding. It’s not eally a case of standing up for yourself but compromising with what you both want. She also probably thinks she is being really kind and wouldn’t expect someone to be annoyed at the offer of a present that will save a lot of money.
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December 10th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Hmm I say let her do the invites. Will save alot of money. She has offered, and really is passionate about doing them for you.
But seriously… they are only invites, people read the writting then put it away in a box or throw them away. Whatever she does will be nice, at no cost on your part so she will not be “free loading” by coming to the wedding.
Her effort is the Invitation gift, and the money she is going to spend on it is less out of ur pocket, therefore she is not “Freeloading” at the wedding.
Be greatful that his aunty has such a kind idea to help you with this and save you money and time!
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December 10th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
I think you have the wrong attitude here.
Do you view all your guests as “freeloaders”? Or do you charge admission at the door? How rude of you!
If this Aunt wants to do something to make your day special - and less expensive - keep quiet and go with it! It sounds as though you get to pick everything so its not like she is telling you it has to be this way or that way, you still get to pick.
I have a cousin who wants to purchase our wedding cake for us from a very expensive bakery. My fiance & I both would never spend so much on a freakin’ cake, but its what they want to do for us. We discussed our reservations about the cost, and they still want to do it. We are very graciously accepting their gift. And its going to get eaten!
And if I were you, I would frame one of those handmade invitations that is being made for you!
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